Norma's Health Update

Read by Charla Devine at Norma's Ohio memorial

2009-12-07T16:23:00.000-08:00

Miss You by David Cory

Miss you, miss you, miss you;
Everything I do
Echoes with the laughter
And the voice of You.
You're on every corner,
Every turn and twist,
Every old familiar spot
Whispers how you're missed.

Miss you, miss you, miss you!
Everywhere I go
There are poignant memories
Dancing in a row.
Silhouette and shadow
Of your form and face,
Substance and reality
Everywhere displace.

Oh, I miss you, miss you!
How I miss you, Girl!
There's a strange, sad silence
'Mid the busy whirl,
Just as tho' the ordinary
Daily things I do
Wait with me, expectant,
For a word from You.

Miss you, miss you, miss you!
Nothing now seems true
Only that 'twas heaven
Just to be with You.

Celebrating Norma

2009-12-05T07:46:00.001-08:00

Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting comments about Norma that were spoken at her memorial in Ohio.

Here's the first entry, written by Dave Woodyard, read by his wife Joanne:
By Granville standards, Norma was not among us very long. But her presence was enduring -- she taught us how to live and in time, she taught us how to die. Some do both and some do one.

Norma did both. She lit a candle in this gifted community that shone even on a bright day, and by night illuminated every dark corner. That candle will continue to burn and cast its light among us as long as each of us lives by what she taught us.

Read at Norma's memorial in Ohio

2009-12-05T07:35:00.000-08:00

My dear friend, Norma,

When I think of Norma, I think of how she embraced life fully. I think too of the legacy of scientist/writer Rachel Carson and her book A Sense of Wonder because Norma lived that sense of wonder and shared it with those around her.

The first time I met Norma, was at a picnic of several families. In a stream of conversation I remembered her saying that she needed a new kitchen floor, but that would not be installed because more important was their desire to travel with Dawn and Lisa who were young girls at the time. I was impressed.

I have many memories of special times with Norma. Another memory when she shared a sense of wonder was when she took my daughters Lori and Erin and me tramping through the woods near their home on Trestle Road in Highland to teach us about spring plants and flowers—showing us the May Apples and the Jack in the Pulpit and the Trillium—all new to us.

And she more recently shared that sense of wonder right here in Granville when Erin and Rebecca and I came to visit. We walked the bike path, spotting the deer, checking out the community garden, and even seeing the neighborhood skunk—not to mention the many birds and plants that always thrived in her presence.

We parted after learning the latest card games, and we play them all year long—always remembering the fun times we had around her table. We played “hand and foot” last weekend as part of our tribute to her. I have shared books, quotes, tears, laughter, wine and many cups of tea with Norma through the past 30 or so years. We discovered that cranberry tea never tastes so good alone as it does when shared with a dear friend. I will miss her so.

-- Donna Singleton, long-time friend from Highland, IL

Jane Montz's tomato wild rice soup

2009-12-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

One of my mom's dear Ohio friends, Jane Montz, made this delicious soup for us just after my mom died. It warmed our hearts and bellies.

She delivered it to my dad's place with crusty bread, salmon cream cheese spread and a bottle of wine. Here's the recipe for Jane's tomato wild rice soup.

Saute:
3 T. butter
3 T. olive oil
1 med. Onion, chopped
1-2 carrots, chopped
1 large stalk celery

Add & simmer for about 1 hr or until rice is no longer crunchy:
6 lrge tomatoes or 2 16-oz. cans chopped tomatoes
2 c. chicken stock
½ c. wild rice (one little box of Reese’s wild rice)

Swirl in before serving:
½ c. cream (or a bit more, like I do)
2 T. fresh basil, chopped (I like to add more)

Peace

2009-12-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

This candle burned on November 19th in my mom's bedroom. It's a peace candle and I thought it appropriate for my mom's vigil. It sat on my mom's desk alongside Emily and Paul's baby pictures. Classical music played in the background.

Ralph and Norma

2009-12-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

A photo of Ralph and Norma's hands a few days after their 48th wedding anniversary. My mom had her nails done a week before she died.

Norma's obituary

2009-11-20T12:43:00.000-08:00

Norma Irene (Heimann) Ottensmeier, age 67, of Granville, OH died November 19, 2009, in her home, embraced by her husband and two daughters. Norma was born July 23, 1942, in Damiansville, IL, to Louis and Nora (Horstmann) Heimann, who both preceded her in death. Norma is also preceded in death by her brother Lester Heimann. Norma received her Bachelors of Science in Education degree from Southern Illinois University in 1971, and her Masters of Arts in Speech Communications from SIU in 1993. She retired in 2002 from the Central Community High School, in Breese, IL, where she served as librarian for 18 years. Norma was an avid reader, gardener, loved to play cards, and took great delight in her grandchildren Emily and Paul. Norma is survived by her husband of 48 years, Ralph; children Dawn Ottensmeier and Lisa (Brian) Crock. She is also survived by a brother, Melvin (Yvonne) Heimann, and sisters Aurea (Dave) Frerker, Audrey (Ron) Kolar, Grace Walker, Marlene (Allan) Carmack, Donna (John) Goldman, Lois (Rodger) Kalmer, and numerous nieces and nephews.

Norma was a blessing to all who knew her kind and generous ways. She was loved by all and will be greatly missed.

A private memorial Mass is planned for Ohio. A second memorial celebration of Norma’s life will be held in Illinois at a later date. Contributions in Norma’s memory may be made to Hospice of Central Ohio, 2269 Cherry Valley Rd., Newark, OH 43055.

November 19th, 2009 3:30 pm

2009-11-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

Embraced by Ralph, Lisa and me, Norma passed away today at 3:30 p.m. It was a beautiful, peaceful death. She shifted from labored, quickened breaths, to a slower, paused pace. And then, she didn't breath again. We cried, and we held her, and we cried some more. And now, there's some relief in knowing that she's no longer feeling any pain. She's at peace, and for that, we're grateful.

There will be a private memorial in Ohio, and a second "celebration of life" in Illinois, at a future date.

We are truly blessed to have had Norma in our lives, and will miss her in ways that are difficult to fathom. We've also been blessed by the love that has surrounded her in so many wonderful ways. Heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you who have held her in your thoughts and prayers. I know she has a special place in each of your hearts.

Here's to a very special woman, mother, grandmother, wife and friend. Raise a glass to Norma. That's what she'd want you to do.

Peace

2009-11-16T18:42:00.001-08:00

Norma is home now (as of November 10th) and since then, you'll see six entries below of how she's spent her time. Precious, but challenging time. Since last Wednesday, when we celebrated Norma and Ralph's 48th anniversary, she's gone through a great deal of change. Each day, she has felt more discomfort and her pain medications are adjusted and increased. With that, she's more and more altered. Her body is getting weak and she sleeps more. She needs help moving from her bed to the wheel chair. She hates that we have to see her go through this decline. What's left of her independence is challenged, and as you can imagine, she's not happy about that.

Pray for her peaceful departure.

Saturday, 11/14

2009-11-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

A beautiful day in Ohio, sunny and 75 degrees. Pictured here bottom row: Lisa, Norma, and my mom's sister Aurea from Illinois. Top row: Mom's sister Donna from Chicago, and Dawn.

Almost-Thanksgiving Dinner, 11/14

2009-11-16T18:08:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday, we had a Thanksgiving dinner and decorated the table with Christmas placemats and candles. My mom made it to the table, in her wheel chair, and joined us for a delicious meal with baked chicken, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry relish, green bean casserole and pies for dessert. We all spent the day preparing the meal and enjoying each other. Pictured here are Lisa and Brian, my mom's sisters Aurea and Donna, and Ralph and Emily. Paul and Dawn were there too.

Donna, Norma and Aurea 11/14/09

2009-11-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

My mom's sister Donna pictured with Norma just after a shower. Her other sister, Aurea had just finished making a pumpkin pie and pampered my mom by feeding her a piece still warm from the oven.

Mom and Lisa

2009-11-15T17:07:00.000-08:00

My mom tires easily and is in this positon quite often. Here's Lisa in bed with her, just before a nap.

48th Anniversary

2009-11-15T17:06:00.000-08:00

Norma and Ralph celebrated their 48th anniversary on Wednesday, November 11th. We set a beautiful table with my mom's best china, candles, a small bouquet for each of us and assembled around a feast of pasta that my sister cooked up! It was a lovely evening, finished off with homemade custard, lemon cake and a game of Apples to Apples.

Thursday 11/12

2009-11-15T15:34:00.000-08:00

Norma mustered up enough energy to have a manicure last Thursday. Here she is with Annie. I had a pedicure while waiting!

Monday

2009-11-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my dad took my mom to the hospital. She’d been altered and confused for several days, even with a managed reduction in her pain meds. When she started feeling nauseous and vomiting this past Saturday night and again on Sunday morning, her hospice nurse and primary care doctor decided to admit her so she can be closely monitored and her meds can be more quickly adjusted. She's a bit better today -- the nausea is gone and she's more alert. The goal is to strike a manageable balance between her pain, nausea and mental clarity. Finding that balance can be a challenge, but she's in very good hands on the hospice floor at Licking Memorial Hospital.

Hospice

2009-11-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

Norma continues to make the best of each day, but nausea and fatigue make most days difficult. The past month has been especially challenging for her. She’s always been a ‘foodie’ so it’s frustrating that most food doesn’t taste good or stay down. A pharmacy of medicines and doses assist in varying degrees of success.

While the chemotherapy has helped my mom in many ways, it also contributes to these grueling side effects. And, the treatments have reached their peak in terms of keeping the cancer at bay. Given that reality, and the way my mom feels, she has decided to suspend chemo treatments and initiate hospice care. This provides access to a team of health care providers dedicated to making her comfortable.

Initially, an RN visits her at home every other day and helps in managing her meds. Care is adjusted as needed and for now, they are determined to keep her out of pain and eliminate the nausea.

This doesn’t stop her from enjoying life with her family and friends. In fact, she and Ralph, accompanied by Lisa and Emily, drove to Indianapolis this past Saturday and met Ray and me for lunch, a 3-hour one at that. She napped in the car as needed, and was thrilled to be sitting next to Emily in the back seat. Emily is so dear to her.

Keep sending those prayers her way. They mean a lot.

Cosmos, Carrots and Carolyn

2009-10-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

Two of my dad's favorite activities: tending to the garden and spending time with Emily. We recently harvested the last of the carrots and picked enough cosmos to make a beautiful bouquet for Norma. I took a bag of carrots home to St. Louis and the rest were used to make a carrot souffle, made famous by Carolyn Johnson. She generously made this dish as part of a meal she sent over for Ralph and Norma. The recipe is below.

Carrot Soufflé from the kitchen of Carolyn Johnson

1 lb. carrots, peeled and chopped
3 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, melted
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Bring carrots and water to cover to a boil in a medium saucepan
2. Cook for 45 minutes or until tender
3. Drain
4. Process carrots in a food processor or blend until smooth
5. Stir together carrot puree, eggs and remaining ingredients
6. Spoon into a lightly greased 1-quart baking dish
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until set

Devine Farms

2009-10-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

My mom and dad are good friends with Charla and Ralph Devine, owners of Devine Farms, a favorite destination this time of year. We enjoyed a hay ride, sloppy joe sandwiches and apple cider. Paul raced me through the cornfield maze. He's in much better shape than I am!

Norma pictured with Paul in her pumpkin hat, a gift from Charla.

The Pie Lady

2009-10-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

Mom and I made our rounds at the final (and coldest)
Granville Farmer's Market for the year. Picture here are Norma and our favorite baker, Sue Renner of "Sue's Kitchen". We can't resist her pies. This time it was peach.

Rest

2009-10-15T16:13:00.001-07:00

My mom has not been one to rest much in her life (too much to do and see) but that's what she is having to do now. At first she resisted it. Then she was mad about it because she felt unproductive. Now, she's eased into realizing her body needs it and she lets herself. She might have a morning full of errands or a game of bridge with her card-playing buddies, but then she takes a nap. And she never misses watching a game of Emily or Paul's after that.

She continues to be well-managed by her team of doctors and nurses. She trusts them completely. They see her every Monday, and sometimes more often if a treatment is scheduled. They call to check on her, and they request that she checks in with them, daily if necessary. She and her chief oncologist, Dr. Laufman have a plan, and they shake on it.

I'm headed to Ohio this weekend. Enjoy the photos below from a recent trip Norma made to St. Louis. Expect more photos next week.

Art Weekend in St. Louis

2009-10-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

While in St. Louis at the end of September, Mom and I attended several quilt exhibitions that are part of the Innovations in Textiles symposium.
Mom's been coming to St. Louis to participate in this event for the past several years. This year was no different.
Pictured with Norma is friend and artist Sun Smith-Foret, who had just lectured on her exhibition, "Silver Screen Quilts: Art about Movies" at the Duane Reed gallery.

Art St. Louis

2009-10-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

Art St. Louis has a new, beautiful gallery and Mom and I went to the opening of a "Fiber Focus" show just after seeing Quilt National, the exhibit that travels from Ohio to St. Louis. Mom is always my guest at the sponsorship event where we get a preview of 75 award-winning art quilts.

We had a great art-viewing weekend, with time for good food and a few naps.

Norma's favorite massage therapy team in St. Louis

2009-10-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Whenever Norma visits St. Louis, a massage with Theresa Paskas, a veteran body worker, is a must! She is joined here by assistant Sarah. They take very good care of Norma and always love having the chance to work on her.

Great friends, family and food in St. Louis

2009-10-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

While in St. Louis last weekend, Norma had a chance to have dinner with dear friends Drs. Don and Judie Chaney at Trattoria Branica in Kirkwood. Delicious!
And, you can always count on a fine dining experience at Frank Papa's, an Italian restaurant in Brentwood. At Frank's, were were joined by the Central High School gang and Ray.
Pictured are Norma, Frank Papa and Dawn, and below that are Dawn and Norma and Vicki, Dixie, Andi and Jim Groff.

Gathering at Aurea and Dave's 9/27/09

2009-10-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

We had a couple of impromptu gathering at Aurea and Dave's place in Glen Carbon, Illinois when Norma was recently in St. Louis.

Pictured above are Aurea (my mom's oldest sister) and Lois (my mom's youngest sister) and they are both fabulous, efficient cooks. They take after their mother/my Grandma who raised nine children, prepared 3 square meals a day for her family and the hired hands on the farm, raised chickens, managed my grandfather (Louie) and still had time to quilt. By the time grandkids and great grandkids came along, she was preparing holiday feasts for more than 40 people. It was nothing for her to make a dozen pies before lunch. Aurea and Lois are like that too.

Four of the 9: Aurea, Norma, Lois and Melvin, joined by husbands, kids and grandkids.

Field hockey and soccer

2009-10-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

Donna, my mom's sister from Chicago, Dr. Petryk, mom's family doctor, and Norma watch Granville's field hockey team. Dr. Petryk's daughter plays on the same team as Emily, who is the goalie this year, seen below blocking a shot. Below that...Lisa, and all of her expertise in field hockey (she's a quick study!), is the manager of the team, along with her good friend Tara Parsley.

Next photo: Paul playing soccer. He's a great kicker and towers above most of the other players. Sometimes he's the goalie.

And now you what weekends are like in Granville.

Brussel sprouts, coming up!

2009-10-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ralph's plot at the community garden produced the best-tasting brussel sprouts. He wasn't too sure about growing them, and they started out as pathetic-looking plants, but they flourished with his tender, loving care. Here, Lisa and Emily assist in the final prep for dinner.

S'mores and more 9/12/09

2009-10-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Brian and Emily at the backyard firepit.
Paul, William and Peter below.

Breakfast for Donna's birthday 9/13/09

2009-10-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

Dawn, Lisa, Donna (Norma's sister from Chicago), Norma and Emily sitting in front of a little shop in downtown Granville. We had just finished having breakfast with the rest of the gang -- Ralph, Brian and Paul. Then we celebrated Donna's birthday on my mom and dad's deck with a sunflower-shaped cake and fresh strawberries from the Granville Farmer's Market.

Norma with Emily and her friends 9/12/09

2009-09-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

At a recent sleepover, Grandmas is surround by Tatum, Amanda, Emily and Amanda-2.

Emily and Paul - my mom's best medicine

2009-09-09T19:26:00.000-07:00

Even after a day of chemo or if my mom is feeling tired, she just loves seeing Emily and Paul and attending their sporting events. This week in particular, Emily and Paul are my mom's best medicine. She's been feeling more pain than usual and also started another round of treatment yesterday. Her doctor initiated a third version of chemotherapy with the intent of minimizing the pain while continuing to fight the cancer. My mom is a real trooper, but she could use a break from the pain.
Keep sending your thoughts and prayers.

Boy Scout Picnic

2009-08-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Brian and Paul invited us to join them at the Boy Scout pig roast and picnic last weekend for bluegrass music, rides and great food. The band was a special treat for Ralph because it featured Andy Carlson, a fiddler and music professor at Dennison University in Granville.

Pictured are Emily, Paul and friend William.

Favorite Pastime

2009-08-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

A book is never far from reach for Norma, as most of you know. She enjoys sitting on the deck, overlooking a wooded lot, surrounded by potted flowers and a new garden that she and my dad carved out this spring.

Norma is on a 2-week break from chemo, while her body digests and responds to the last dose of treatment. Last Monday, she needed an injection to boost her white blood cell count. She's also taking a drug to help support healthy bone growth during this process.

Granville Farmer's Market

2009-08-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

Dawn and Norma at the Granville Farmer's Market, held every Saturday. We load up on cinnamon rolls, pecan pie, peaches and whatever else is in season.
A favorite vendor is an English baker (second from the left) who's beautiful scones, lemon pound cakes and blossom-shaped shortbread cookies are perfectly placed on doilied-cake stands and wrapped in satin ribbons. A visual delight! Also pictured are Ralph, Lisa and the baker's assistant.

Community Garden

2009-08-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

Here's Norma posing in front of Emily's junior garden, filled with sunflowers, cosmos, poppies, zinnia, mini pumpkins, and a tomato plant in there somewhere. The Emily sign was lovingly made by Grandpa Ralph. My mom's hair is starting to grow back so she's going wig less. Below is the first harvest of carros just picked this weekend. The pumpkins are growing nicely and there's one watermelon that Emily has her watchful eye on.

Norma's Birthday - July 23, 2009

2009-08-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

Emily and Paul in front of the sign they made for Grandma's birthday back in July. She started her morning with a chemo treatment and then headed to Lisa's house for a picnic in the afternoon.

Another round starts tomorrow

2009-08-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, Norma starts another round of chemo treatment. She'll have a treatment each day for five days. Last week, her test results showed that the chemo was effective because her "cancer marker" was lower than the week before. Lower is better in her case.

The good news is that she's not losing her hair this time around and she has very little nausea. She is however experiencing pain in her lower back and legs, another common side effect. She has to rest more and put her feet up. Difficult for Norma -- she likes to be on the go! My dad has to force her to take naps.

She didn't let any of this get in the way of participating in the Crock family campout at Lisa and Brian's house this past weekend. She was right in the thick of things...helping prepare dinner, making s'mores with the kids, stoking the fire and then she headed for bed...in the house!

Quilt Bingo - Damiansville Church Picnic

2009-08-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

Sharing a few more photos taken at the Damiansville Church Picnic in July. Besides the fried chicken dinner with homemade noodles and desserts, quilt bingo is another special part of the annual event. Each church family donates a homemade quilt and they are given away as bingo prizes.

Lisa and Brian are pictured here early in the evening. We played for almost 5 hours and never won a quilt. Brian won a round, but it was a money round.

Grandpa/Ralph and Emily played too. Below them is a scene of the bingo playing area. Notice the beautiful quilts hanging in the background.

Emily, Paul and Dawn

2009-08-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken when the Ohio gang was in St. Louis. This is visit #3 to Ted Drew's for another treat of frozen custard.

The Ohio gang is back in Ohio. We had a wonderful visit.

I just talked to Norma and she and Emily were playing a new card game. They both share a love of games and reading. Grandpa Ralph (aka Peepaw) was out with Paul for ice cream.

My mom's been feeling more tired this week. Not sure why. Could be the new chemo treatment. She's also a bit achy. The good news is that on Monday, her test results indicated her cancer marker had gone in the desirable direction. Let's hope this continues because it means the treatment is beating the cancer cells. Every Monday, she is tested, so we'll know more next week.

Cross your fingers.

Norma at Ray's backyard party

2009-07-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

Ray hosted a party for the Ohio gang. Here my mom is enjoying a conversation with Andre, a dear friend from Holland who now lives in Mt. Vernon, IL with his wife Annelies.

This week, Norma started her first round of another chemotherapy treatment. While her oncologist was pleased with my mom's response to the first form of treatment, the cancer was starting to outsmart the chemo. In an effort to continue to fight the cancer, Dr. Laufman is trying another approach. So, Norma receives five days of chemo this week, followed by a 2-week break. Then she does it again.

She is perfecting the art of living with cancer. I think she deserves a prize, and so does Dr. Laufman and her wonderful team of doctors.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. After treatment, she is going on a picnic with my dad, Lisa and Emily and Paul.

Happy Birthday Mom. Celebrate YOU!

Donna, Norma and Kathy

2009-07-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

Pictured here is Donna, my mom's sister who drove in from Evanston, IL, Norma, and Kathy, my mom's sister-in-law. We had the pleasure of hanging out in Highland, Illinois at cousin Al and Kelly's pool. We played water volleyball for 4 hours and then enjoyed a wonderful dinner prepared by Kathy, the most efficient, amazing hostess in the whole world! And her husband Gervase, my dad's brother, has perfected the art of cookie baking, debuting his famous oatmeal cookie.

Brian and Emily too!

2009-07-22T20:36:00.001-07:00

Ralph and Paul

2009-07-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

Another photo from Trattoria Marcella.

Ohio gang visits St. Louis

2009-07-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

Instead of blogging, I've been enjoying the Ohio gang who visited St. Louis. Pictured here is Andi Groff, Norma and grandson Paul. This is the first night of many fun times in St. Louis. We had a fabulous dinner at Trattoria Marcella and had several surprise visitors. First, Andi greeted my mom when we arrived. She drove over from Illinois. Andi is a dear friend and retired teacher. She is the wife of retired superintendant Jim Groff who my mom enjoyed working for at Central High School for almost twenty years.

Second surprise was son-in-law Brian from Ohio, who snuck in and surprised us all! It was a special treat to have him for the weekend. His wife, my sister, and his kids were already here and did a great job of keeping his visit a secret.

Then, four more of my mom's teacher friends from Breese made their grand entrance. The waiter did a great job of keeping up with all of us.

More to come...stay tuned.

Ralph & Norma in the garden, 6/12/09

2009-06-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken this past weekend. Going to the garden is a focal point of most days. The lettuce crop is so beautiful. We ate fresh lettuce for every meal and gave large bags to Meals on Wheels and several neighbors. And there's more! Huge, healthy leaves of spinach, black-seeded simpson, arugula and buttercrunch. No insects, yet. The peas are starting to ripen, and so are the beets. Kohlrabi gets eaten before we even leave the garden. Emily has a small flower garden and it's full of zinnia, poppies, morning glory, cosmos, snapdradon, and other annuals.

My mom finished her 4th round of chemo-therapy today. She continues to feel really good. She's gets a little tired, and sometimes nautious after treatment. In the next few weeks, Dr. Laufman will decide if a 5th treatment is needed.

My mom continues to receive the kindest cards from you all. She loves receiving them. Know that your thoughts and prayers carry her through each and every day.

Thank you.

Ralph, out standing in his field

2009-06-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Here's Ralph at the community garden in Granville, Ohio. My mom and dad really enjoy their time in the garden. My dad is especially pleased with his sweet corn crop. He visits the garden at least three times a day. It's a short walk from their condo.

Dublin, OH reunion

2009-06-15T17:27:00.000-07:00

My mom and dad recently joined long-time friends from Illinois at a golf tournament in Dublin, OH. They spent the weekend watching golf, dining at some terrific restaurants, visiting by the pool and shopping.

Pictured in the front: Jim, Norma, Andi
In back: Ralph, Dixie, Vickie

You're always hearing from me, so this time, I'm including comments from Dixie and Vicky.

From Dixie: I was thrilled to see your mom at dad in Ohio this past week. We (her friends in Illinois) have been so worried, but seeing your mom looking so well and sensing her strength as we talked gave renewed hope. She and your dad are inspirations.

I had assumed Norma might tire easily, and since I was recovering from a fractured knee and was wearing a leg brace, I thought my slower speed would match Norma's. I was so wrong! As I couldn't keep up with her, she kindly adjusted her pace to match mine. We enjoyed short shopping excursions, pleasant dinners and plenty of time chatting and relaxing by the pool. All of these were things we have done many times in the past, but this time the memories will be even more special because they were highlighted by hope.

From Vickie:I had such a great time and really got to relax on this golf trip. I loved spending time with Norma and Ralph and feel so much better that I got to see them.

2009-06-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Life can only be understood backwards.
It must be lived foarwards.

-- Soren Kierkegaard

This quote seemed fitting to me today. There are days when too many un-answerable questions enter my mind. Big questions. This little quote brings me back to the present. My mom likes it too.

Norma was scheduled to have chemo round 4 this week, but her white blood count was too low. Maybe next week. She was fine about it because it meant she got to play bridge with her buddies and attend grandson Paul's event at school without being nauseous and tired.

Thanks everybody for continuing to send cards and letters to my mom. They brighten her days. And her and my dad enjoy the gift of a meal from time to time; such a nice treat for them. There's nothing like a home-cooked dinner. They are truly grateful for each and every one.

Memorial Day/Indy 500

2009-05-26T19:47:00.001-07:00

My mom and dad enjoyed a Memorial Day gathering at Ralph and Charla Divine's farm. Sounds like they had a feast and my mom was grateful to have a good appetite.

This weekend we made our annual family pilgrimage to the Indy 500, a race my dad has attended since 1966. My mom insisted we keep the tradition, so we did. Family gathered from Illinois, St. Louis, Wisconsin and Ohio. We raised a glass in Norma's honor. She missed seeing everyone, but was happy to stay back in Ohio with Emily and Paul.

We also had a feast, topped by my Aunt Kathy's homemade peach pie. My mom prepared her famous macaroni salad and sent it with Ralph. She brings it every year. Some things never change.

Mother's Day

2009-05-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

A gorgeous Mother's Day in Ohio, and we spent it outside. My parents have two gardens -- a flower bed at their condo and a community vegetable garden at a nearby park, just a short walk from their condo. We planted hosta, astilbe, coral bells, peony, annuals for all of my mom's pots, and tomatoes, cucumbers, beets, and sweet corn. You'd never know my mom has cancer. We all needed a nap afterwards and she kept going strong.

In my previous post, you'll see my dad grilling our Mother's Day lunch. It was delicious.

My mom finished round three of her chemo treatments this week. Except for a little nausea yesterday, she's been able to have a fairly productive week. Productivity is how my mom measure's a day well spent.

Thanks everybody for your powerful healing presence in my mom's life.

Ralph's Famous Ribs

2009-05-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Dad made his famous, secret-recipe ribs for Mother's Day. "The secret's in the sauce," says Ralph. That, along with his special two-step cooking process. The ribs were accompanied by roasted veggies, Aunt Lois' baked beans, cole slaw made Brian's way, a strawberry-rhubarb pie and a 3-layer cake made by Norma and Emily. We had a wonderful Sunday lunch at Lisa and Brian's house.

Looking good. Feeling good.

2009-05-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

My mom continues to feel really good. Her oncologist is really pleased with her response to the
chemotherapy treatment. Last Monday, most of her blood counts were where they needed to be,
or at least heading in the right direction. Her white blood cell count was a bit low, but she had no other signs of infection. This suggests that her body is fighting and since she's had no fever, it's most likely fighting the cancer. The intense pain she was experiencing in her right leg has diminished greatly. Chemotherapy round 3 is planned for Monday.

In the mean time, my mom is enjoying watching Paul and Emily's games, playing bridge on Tuesdays, and enjoying visits from her friends. She and my dad take daily walks to the community garden near their condo. Ralph is excited about growing sweet corn this year. Lettuce and radishes are sprouting, and Emily has planted about a dozen other things.

I'll be in Ohio this weekend for not only Mother's Day, but also to celebrate Lisa (pictured) and Ralph's birthdays.

Have a great weekend everybody. Your good wishes, kind thoughts and powerful prayers are much appreciated and making a difference.

Dawn, Lisa and Norma shopping for the perfect wig

2009-04-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

New summer hats!

2009-04-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Lisa and I had fun shopping with mom for summer hats. We found three adorable hats. Emily might have to borrow the blue one.

Brunette?

2009-04-15T20:12:00.001-07:00

My mom is now a brunette. At least when she wears the wig, sent to her from her sister Marlene who lives in Oregon. Today my mom had it cut and styled to suit her. I'll take some photos and post them soon.

My mom's been catching up with friends, playing her Tuesday card game, eating well and resting often. My dad is her dedicated chauffeur. My mom can drive herself, but he likes being her driver.

Tomorrow, she's looking forward to enjoying some time in her garden. Supposed to be a warm and sunny day in Ohio.

Thanks for your continued love and prayers.

Determined

2009-04-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

My mom complete round 2 of chemotherapy last Friday. Her only reported side effect was nausea on Saturday. This is a huge blessing compared to how she responded to round 1. After the last few weeks of yogurt, Ensure and small helpings, her appetite is returning. In fact, she ate french fries, linguine with cream sauce, and tiramisu this weekend.

I reported last week that Norma's platelet count had gone up to 178K. Well, today it was 280K. That's a far cry from 9K platelets on March 9th, the day she was diagnosed.

My mom is so determined to rebuild her body strength. She and my dad went to the indoor track at Denison University last Friday and she's been walking a 1/2 mile per day ever since. Today she timed herself because she wants a baseline to measure her improvement.

She also informed her oncologist today that she is going to beat this disease. Dr. Laufman (another strong German female) offered her hand and they shook on it.

Day 1, Round 2

2009-04-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

My mom started round 2 of her chemo treatment today with a platelet count of 178K! That's quite an improvement from the 9K at the last start. Normal range is 150K - 400K. Getting through round 1 was an accomplishment given her low counts. She's healthier and more familiar with things, and it seemed a little easier for her today.

Keep sending your healing words and prayers her way. She's soaking them up.

Have a wonderful Easter weekend.

Pictured: Norma/Grandma's pride and joy -- Paul and Emily

Comic relief

2009-04-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

Pictured: Lisa, Paul, Norma, Brian in a really bad wig, and Emily. This past Friday was the first time Emily and Paul saw my mom with no hair. Brian's wig and purple shades added just the right amount of comic relief.

Emily and Norma

2009-04-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

Soccer and Pizza

2009-04-04T19:45:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful sunny day in Ohio today and my mom felt better than she has in weeks. Her grandson Paul had a soccer game today and my mom really wanted to go. So, we organized an outing to Millersport, Ohio and watched the blue team defeat the purple team. Paul (9) is starting to master his ability to turn and kick the ball in one move. It's a treat to watch his boyish body become more agile and strong. Granddaughter Emily (11) is mastering text messaging with her friends while pretending to watch her brother.

My mom's appetite is returning and she was craving pizza, so we had lunch at Pizza Cottage, famous for BLT pizza. She even had a little coffee, something she's had no taste for in over a month.

My mom had energy today to go through some of her mail. My dad's been saving the cards in a basket. She was really touched and sends a huge thank you for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.

23,000 platelets!

2009-04-01T16:46:00.001-07:00

My mom's platelet count continues to rise. Today marks 23,000, up from 13,000 yesterday. Her white blood cell count is also good, indicating that her immune system is functioning and she's less at risk for infection. All of this lead up to the best news of the day, and that is my mom got to go home!

I just talked to her a few minutes ago and she said it felt really good to be in her own bed for a change.

This weekend, she wants to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. I'm looking forward to seeing her new hair cut.

Two weeks, post chemotherapy

2009-03-31T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today marks two weeks from when my mom started chemotherapy treatment and we received good news. Her platelet count was up to 13,000! That's low for people without cancer, but for my mom, it's the first time her count has been above 10,000 in a week or so, and this increase happened without platelet transfusions the last two days. This means that her body is making her own platelets, and this is a very good thing. Her other blood counts are also on the rise, and in general, my mom is feeling better and eating more. She actually read today when my sister Lisa was visiting. You know how much my mom LOVES to read, but she's had no interest since this all began.

My mom's hair has started to fall out. To avoid watching it fall out, she opted to get her hair cut today. My dad arranged for her hairdresser to visit the hospital (with permission) and my mom now has a buzz cut. She's wearing a hat today. My mom's sister, Marlene (mutiple myeloma survivor), sent her wig, so that's an option. Karen Berger (breast cancer survivor) is going to show Norma ways to tie and wear scarves.

Celebrate platelets! Pray for more.

2009-03-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

Post chemo treatment day 9

My mom is being so well taken care of at Grant Medical Center in Columbus. She's been moved to a regular room and is seen daily by her oncologist, and seen even more often by an attending physician and a fabulous team of nurses. She loves the hospital chaplin, Donna, who my mom can't wait to introduce. This weekend, my mom's sister, Donna is with my mom. Donna lives in Chicago and has generously offered to rotate in during my mom's care. This weekend, it gave my dad a much needed break.

Norma is still in the hospital because her blood counts need to be checked daily, and when they are low, she can efficiently receive transfusions. She is also there to keep her well protected from infection.

My mom's diagnosis has now been doubly confirmed by the James Cancer Center at the OSU hospital in Columbus. She has small cell carcinoma. This matches the initial diagnosis from her oncologist. Her oncologist wanted a second opinion, and so did we. Treatment remains the same, which involves several rounds of chemotherapy. She's had one treatment so far, and will most likely need 3 to 5 more. Treatment occurs for 3 consecutive days, followed by 21 days off.

Symptoms of small cell carcinoma come on quickly and the cancer is agressive. It usually appears in smokers, of which my mom has never been. Her small cell carcinoma is not lung cancer. Her cancer has a pelvic origin, which might explain the pain she was experiencing in her right upper thigh.

My mom is very resolved to keep pressing on and to focus on one round of treatment at a time. As a friend of hers said, she's way tougher than this. We think so too.

2009-03-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

Post-chemo, day 5
The chemo therapy treatment is starting to bust up the cancer cells, evidenced by improved counts from her liver function tests. Her platelet count is still low because of the small cell cancer, but the expectation is that in a week or so, her body will generate platelets on its own.

Daily monitoring of her blood counts is crucial as is the ability to manage platelet and blood transfusions quickly and efficiently. For this reason, my mom was admitted to Grant Medical Center in Columbus yesterday morning. She is now more accessible to the blood bank (across the street) and receives a high level of care in the Critical Care Unit (between a regular room and the ICU). A member of her oncology team is on staff at Grant. He checks on my mom daily and coordinates her care with the lead oncologist and the attending physician.

When she is less reliant on transfused platelets and her blood counts stabilize, she'll get to go home and continue to let the chemotherapy do its job.

2009-03-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

The last two days of post-chemotherapy have been consumed by paying close attention to my mom's body and tending to her most basic needs. While the chemotherapy fights her disease, it also takes a toll on her body. Between managing her pain meds every two hours, making sure she eats something every two hours, getting her to the bathroom every couple of hours, I haven't had much time to write. I appreciate your patience and understanding about this. Close follow-up regarding her blood counts is critical. Yesterday's CBC (complete blood counts) required another transfusion of platelets and blood last night and because it was Saturday (outpatient closed), she was admitted to the hospital and is still there for monitoring. My dad (who volunteers at the hospital) scored a cot and I stayed with her. She had an extremely attentive team of nurses and slept through the night.

The plan is to bring her home tomorrow for rest and more recovery. Several of my mom's dearest friends in Ohio are taking turns staying overnight this coming week. I'll return to St. Louis Monday night. My mom's sister Donna from Chicago will be here next weekend.

It takes a village, and we have one here. Thanks for your love and support.

2009-03-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

Day 1 (of 21 days post-chemo therapy)

Norma was hoping for a day off after three days of chemotherapy, but she started the day with a transfusion to receive blood and platelets. This was a planned activity following the chemo to check and improve her blood levels. She also received fluids to flush her system and meds to help manage the nautia. She came home with a bit more energy and wanted to go through the mail and insisted on doing at least one constructive thing, so she wrote a check to Central High School for a fundraiser organized by Mr. Groff, her former superintendent. My dad double checked the amount. A+ for Norma! Her friends who have had cancer use the term 'chemo-brain' to describe the way it feels to be unable to fully concentrate or think clearly.

She has the weekend off and is looking forward to having lunch on the porch in the sun. It's supposed to be warm and sunny in Ohio.

She has a followup appt with her oncologist on Monday. Several tests, scans and MRIs this past week are helping them pinpoint the source of her cancer.

Heartfelt thanks for all of your kind words, cards, phone calls, food, and flowers. My dad was so thrilled tonight with the dinners from the St. Vincent's fish fry.

2009-03-19T10:50:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of 3

Treatment started today at 9:30. The first few hours get my mom's body ready for chemo. Fluids, flushing kidneys, and nausea medicine. Then the chemo is dripped in. She sleeps alot. We try to get her to eat every couple of hours. She does pretty well with that. This morning I woke up at 3:30 and found her in the kitchen eating some yogurt. She is trying really hard to do what she needs to do, even though she just feels like sleeping. She walked into the doctor's office today. Would not let us just drop her off. She knows she needs to get some movement.

Her dear friends are coming to her aid. Ann stopped by last night and my mom perked up a bit. Mitzi stopped by and my mom smiled. Mitzi has agreed to be the food coordintor. Food queen is probably a better desciption. Anyone that wants to provide food can call Mitzi and she has a list of what my mom and dad can eat. She'll coordinate requests with food and timing. This is a huge, huge relief to us and such a generous contibution at this point in the process. Another organization is rallying to arrange for woman to stop by and give my dad a break and provide various things are good for my mom. Eating with her, walking with her, whatever might be the need of the day and that could change over the next few weeks. A new face from time to time will be a nice change for her.

Tomorrow she gets more blood to maintain her platelet counts. She's being very well attended to and her doctors and nurses are pillars of strength and competence.

She's getting the drugs she needs. Now we anticipate they will do their jobs to fight this disease.

All of your loving thoughts are most appreciated. The people of Granville and Newark has come to her aid and they are an army of support that is truly awesome and a force to be reckoned with. So is Norma.

A special thanks to my sister and her husband Brian for all that they have done and are doing for my mom. My dad is tired, but he's a real trooper.

xoxox

Day One

2009-03-17T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today Norma began the 1st of 3 days of Chemo-therapy in Ohio. She started at 8:30 a.m. and finished at 4:30 p.m. She sits in a recliner in a living room setting at Dr. Laufman's office. My dad, Ralph, is there taking orders from my mom. Lisa, my sister, brings food and tries to coax my mom to eat. My mom is basically pissed off and feeling very unproductive. Imagine that.

The treatment also includes flushing her kidneys to try to keep them healthy during the process. A doctor is on standby the entire time.

She had a brain MRI tonight. This will help Dr. Laufman and her partners pinpoint the source of the cancer. That is still a mystery. Adjustments will be made to her treatment program as more conclusive data becomes available.

For now, I'm just praying my mom and dad get some sleep tonight.

Some of you have asked for their address:
740 West Maple
Granville, OH 43023

P.S. E-mail from 3/16/09:
Thanks to all of you who know and love Norma and have expressed care and concern these last two weeks. We appreciate your support as we've tried to pinpoint Norma's illness. We will do our best to share information with you as we get it. A weblog is being set up over the next few days and updates will be posted. A link to the blog is forthcoming. Here's what we know so far: Norma has been released from the hospital and we met today with Dr. Leslie Laufman, her oncologist. Dr. Laufman confirmed that Norma has a malignancy of some kind, although the lab results are still inconclusive as to what type. We have elected to proceed with chemotherapy treatment nonetheless, and it will begin tomorrow, March 17th, and run for three consecutive days. This is followed by 21 days of no treatment and then it starts again. Many of you have expressed an interest to help in some way and for that we are truly grateful. Rest assured we will certainly take you up on your generous offers. We are in the process of organizing and planning Norma (and Ralph's) needs and will provide you with ways to help in very short order. For the time being, please share this email with anyone you think we may have missed, and send us their phone numbers and email addresses. This will allow us to muster Norma's support network most effectively, as we help her regain her health and return to the many activities she shares with all of you. If you respond to this email and don't hear back right away, please know that updates will be posted as soon as the blog is developed.
Keep us in your prayers. Norma, Ralph and family