Norma's obituary

Norma Irene (Heimann) Ottensmeier, age 67, of Granville, OH died November 19, 2009, in her home, embraced by her husband and two daughters. Norma was born July 23, 1942, in Damiansville, IL, to Louis and Nora (Horstmann) Heimann, who both preceded her in death. Norma is also preceded in death by her brother Lester Heimann. Norma received her Bachelors of Science in Education degree from Southern Illinois University in 1971, and her Masters of Arts in Speech Communications from SIU in 1993. She retired in 2002 from the Central Community High School, in Breese, IL, where she served as librarian for 18 years. Norma was an avid reader, gardener, loved to play cards, and took great delight in her grandchildren Emily and Paul. Norma is survived by her husband of 48 years, Ralph; children Dawn Ottensmeier and Lisa (Brian) Crock. She is also survived by a brother, Melvin (Yvonne) Heimann, and sisters Aurea (Dave) Frerker, Audrey (Ron) Kolar, Grace Walker, Marlene (Allan) Carmack, Donna (John) Goldman, Lois (Rodger) Kalmer, and numerous nieces and nephews.

Norma was a blessing to all who knew her kind and generous ways. She was loved by all and will be greatly missed.

A private memorial Mass is planned for Ohio. A second memorial celebration of Norma’s life will be held in Illinois at a later date. Contributions in Norma’s memory may be made to Hospice of Central Ohio, 2269 Cherry Valley Rd., Newark, OH 43055.

November 19th, 2009 3:30 pm

Embraced by Ralph, Lisa and me, Norma passed away today at 3:30 p.m. It was a beautiful, peaceful death. She shifted from labored, quickened breaths, to a slower, paused pace. And then, she didn't breath again. We cried, and we held her, and we cried some more. And now, there's some relief in knowing that she's no longer feeling any pain. She's at peace, and for that, we're grateful.

There will be a private memorial in Ohio, and a second "celebration of life" in Illinois, at a future date.

We are truly blessed to have had Norma in our lives, and will miss her in ways that are difficult to fathom. We've also been blessed by the love that has surrounded her in so many wonderful ways. Heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you who have held her in your thoughts and prayers. I know she has a special place in each of your hearts.

Here's to a very special woman, mother, grandmother, wife and friend. Raise a glass to Norma. That's what she'd want you to do.

Peace

Norma is home now (as of November 10th) and since then, you'll see six entries below of how she's spent her time. Precious, but challenging time. Since last Wednesday, when we celebrated Norma and Ralph's 48th anniversary, she's gone through a great deal of change. Each day, she has felt more discomfort and her pain medications are adjusted and increased. With that, she's more and more altered. Her body is getting weak and she sleeps more. She needs help moving from her bed to the wheel chair. She hates that we have to see her go through this decline. What's left of her independence is challenged, and as you can imagine, she's not happy about that.

Pray for her peaceful departure.

Saturday, 11/14

A beautiful day in Ohio, sunny and 75 degrees. Pictured here bottom row: Lisa, Norma, and my mom's sister Aurea from Illinois. Top row: Mom's sister Donna from Chicago, and Dawn.

Almost-Thanksgiving Dinner, 11/14

This past Saturday, we had a Thanksgiving dinner and decorated the table with Christmas placemats and candles. My mom made it to the table, in her wheel chair, and joined us for a delicious meal with baked chicken, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry relish, green bean casserole and pies for dessert. We all spent the day preparing the meal and enjoying each other. Pictured here are Lisa and Brian, my mom's sisters Aurea and Donna, and Ralph and Emily. Paul and Dawn were there too.

Donna, Norma and Aurea 11/14/09

My mom's sister Donna pictured with Norma just after a shower. Her other sister, Aurea had just finished making a pumpkin pie and pampered my mom by feeding her a piece still warm from the oven.

Mom and Lisa

My mom tires easily and is in this positon quite often. Here's Lisa in bed with her, just before a nap.

48th Anniversary

Norma and Ralph celebrated their 48th anniversary on Wednesday, November 11th. We set a beautiful table with my mom's best china, candles, a small bouquet for each of us and assembled around a feast of pasta that my sister cooked up! It was a lovely evening, finished off with homemade custard, lemon cake and a game of Apples to Apples.

Thursday 11/12

Norma mustered up enough energy to have a manicure last Thursday. Here she is with Annie. I had a pedicure while waiting!

Monday

Yesterday, my dad took my mom to the hospital. She’d been altered and confused for several days, even with a managed reduction in her pain meds. When she started feeling nauseous and vomiting this past Saturday night and again on Sunday morning, her hospice nurse and primary care doctor decided to admit her so she can be closely monitored and her meds can be more quickly adjusted. She's a bit better today -- the nausea is gone and she's more alert. The goal is to strike a manageable balance between her pain, nausea and mental clarity. Finding that balance can be a challenge, but she's in very good hands on the hospice floor at Licking Memorial Hospital.

My dad took my mom to the hospital yesterday morning. She’s been altered and confused for several days, even with a managed reduction in her pain meds. Saturday night she started vomiting and feeling nauseous again. Sunday morning was more of the same. Her hospice nurse and primary care doctor decided to admit her so she can be closely monitored and so they can more quickly manage her meds. My mom wanted to go, which really surprised my dad. So, she’s on the hospice floor in the Cancer Center.

Hospice

Norma continues to make the best of each day, but nausea and fatigue make most days difficult. The past month has been especially challenging for her. She’s always been a ‘foodie’ so it’s frustrating that most food doesn’t taste good or stay down. A pharmacy of medicines and doses assist in varying degrees of success.

While the chemotherapy has helped my mom in many ways, it also contributes to these grueling side effects. And, the treatments have reached their peak in terms of keeping the cancer at bay. Given that reality, and the way my mom feels, she has decided to suspend chemo treatments and initiate hospice care. This provides access to a team of health care providers dedicated to making her comfortable.

Initially, an RN visits her at home every other day and helps in managing her meds. Care is adjusted as needed and for now, they are determined to keep her out of pain and eliminate the nausea.

This doesn’t stop her from enjoying life with her family and friends. In fact, she and Ralph, accompanied by Lisa and Emily, drove to Indianapolis this past Saturday and met Ray and me for lunch, a 3-hour one at that. She napped in the car as needed, and was thrilled to be sitting next to Emily in the back seat. Emily is so dear to her.

Keep sending those prayers her way. They mean a lot.